Forgive or Forget?
by jasg
Summary: After the wreck, Deacon and Rayna are struggling with the consequences. Will Deacon be able to forgive Rayna or will he simply try to forget her?
1. Chapter 1

It's been a hard year for Rayna Jaymes but in some ways it has been no different then the many other years that she has spent apart from Deacon. The biggest difference is that they had gotten back together. They had finally worked their way back to each other and then it had been snatched away. It had fallen apart just as quickly as it had gotten started. That was the biggest, and worst, difference between this year and all of the other 13 years that they were apart. In reality, he was never very far away from her but when they weren't together, even a couple of steps made it seem like there were miles between them. Lying in her hospital bed, she has a lot of time to think about these things.

She remembers back to that day on the bridge. She remembers him asking her what she would change about her life and her answer is still the same. Only now, she means it even more than she did then. She would change everything. Lying here alone, she can't help but dream of what could have been. They could have been a happy family. They could have raised their daughter together. They could have spent every night in each other's arms. Her thoughts are interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Hey, Rayna. How are you feeling this morning?" the nurse asks curiously.

"I'm feelin' a lot better, Mandy. When do you think they're gonna let me out of here?" she questions.

She's been stuck there for four weeks and it feels like it has been an eternity.

"I don't suppose it will be too much longer, Miss Jaymes," Mandy responds.

"Oh, and by the way, you got some more flowers. I'll get someone to bring them in as soon as I finish checking you out," she adds.

"Thanks, Mandy. I appreciate all of your help," Rayna says.

"Don't worry, dear. It's my job," Mandy replies with a polite smile.

A few minutes after Mandy walks out, a young hospital volunteer comes in and places the flowers on her bedside table. Rayna thanks the volunteer as he leaves the room. There is no need to ask whom the flowers are from. Deacon has been sending her flowers ever since the day he was cleared to go home from the hospital. Clearly, Deacon is still torn up about everything that has happened since she told him about Maddie. He blames himself. Before she had awoken from the coma, he had been by her side day and night. Now that she is awake, he is avoiding her. Rayna doesn't blame him. She lied to him for 13 years and she didn't expect him to forgive her anytime soon. The flowers had initially caused her to feel a glimmer of hope but the fact that he can't even face her makes it apparent that he isn't willing to move on with their relationship that easily.

Rayna sighs. She can't help but feel a strong twinge of regret.

"Why? Why did this have to happen? Why did I lie to him? Why couldn't he have gotten sober after the fourth time in rehab?" she cries to herself.

There is another knock on the door. This time it is Maddie who comes into the room.

"Hey, Mom. How are you feeling today?" her daughter asks her compassionately.

"Hey, babe. I'm feeling much better. I think I might get outta here soon," she informs her with a smile.

Maddie grins back at her.

"It isn't the same without you. I can't wait for you to get out of here. Everyone is so worried about you and you're all over the news. I'm just glad you're getting better. Daphne said to say hi and so did Aunt Tandy," she says.

"Tell them I said hi, too. Don't worry about the media. You know how public our lives are. As soon as I'm out of here, they'll move on to their next big story. Has my stay in the hospital brought the attention away from Juliette and her situation?" Rayna asks curiously.

"Yeah, they barely even talk about her. The only time they talked about her is when she came by to see you. What did y'all talk about anyways?" Maddie asks.

"Oh, she was just being polite. She seems to have changed a lot since her mother passed away," Rayna replies.

"That's good, Mom…" Maddie trails off.

The look on her face indicates that she wants to ask something more but is unsure of how to approach the topic.

"What is it, sweetheart?" Rayna asks.

"Nothing, really. I was just kind of wondering… um… have you seen Deacon?" she asks with a shy look on her face. As soon as she gets the question out, she looks down at her feet, blushing.

"He hasn't stopped by. Why do you ask?" Rayna wonders aloud.

"Oh, well, no reason really. I was just wondering," she says.

"He came by the house you know," she adds cautiously.

"He did? What did he want?" Rayna asks in surprise.

"He came by to spend some time with me and Daph. I think he was trying to make sure that we were okay, you know, with everything that's going on. It was nice of him. He brought us both a teddy bear. He's sweet. He kept asking about you, too. He was obviously worried about you," Maddie tells her mother.

Rayna's heart fills with joy. Maybe there is hope for them. Maybe she hasn't messed it up too badly.

"That was very nice of him. What did you think? Was it weird now that you know he's your biological father?" Rayna questions her daughter.

"It wasn't weird. I've always liked him. It's cool to get to know him better now that I know everything. Do you think y'all are gonna be together after this is over? It would be nice to spend time together with both of you once in a while," Maddie says shyly.

"I don't know, honey. I'll have to talk to Deacon. He wasn't very happy with me before the wreck," she says sadly.

"Well, doesn't he love you? Don't you love him? Why wouldn't two people who love each other so much be able to forgive each other?" she asks innocently.

"I hurt him badly. I don't know if he'll ever be able to forgive me. The most important thing is that I have you and your sister. I'm glad you were able to forgive me," Rayna responds.

"Of course, I forgave you. You're my mom and I almost lost you. I couldn't imagine how horrible it would be without you," Maddie answers emotionally.

"I love you, sweetie. Come give me a hug. Everything is going to be okay. And don't worry about getting to spend time with both Deacon and I. We'll be able to do that even if I'm not with him," she says comfortingly.

"I love you too, Mom. I gotta go. April's mom is waiting outside. They're driving me home from school today," Maddie says.

"I'll try to come by either tomorrow or Wednesday if I can get someone to take me," she adds.

"Sounds good, honey. Have a good week at school. Tell Daphne that I love her," Rayna says as her daughter walks toward the door.

"Okay, Mom. Bye."

Rayna sighs when her daughter leaves. Visiting hours are almost over and another day without Deacon stopping by is almost complete.

"Maybe tomorrow," she murmurs before falling into a dream about Deacon.


	2. Chapter 2

"Tandy, what do you mean you think I need to call Deacon?" Rayna asks into the phone.

"Honey, it's just obvious that he is all you can think about while you're stuck there in the hospital. Maybe you should just call him and find out what he is thinking instead of speculating on everything," her sister replies.

Rayna sighs. She knows her sister is right.

"I don't know, Tandy. He probably doesn't want to hear from me," Rayna responds.

"Rayna, I think I've gotten to know a lot about Deacon over the years after hearing you talk about him all of the time, even though I haven't spent much time with him, and the one thing I know is that Deacon has never been able to escape you and you have never been able to escape him. You both love each other too much. No matter how badly either of you has been hurt by the other, you have both always gone back for more. I don't think that has changed but the only way to find out for sure is to call him and talk to him about it," Tandy replies.

"It's going to happen eventually but you're both stubborn so why not just be the one to rip the band-aid off and get it over with," she adds.

"You are probably right but I don't like it. I don't like it at all," Rayna confesses.

"I think he'll be more agreeable than you think. He almost lost you for good. He isn't going to be stupid and waste 13 more years. I'm sure it will take time for y'all to get back on track but I know for a fact that he still loves you," Tandy says.

"How? How do you know? I don't even know that," Rayna asks.

"Did the girls tell you that he came by the house to see them?" Tandy questions.

"Maddie told me yesterday," Rayna answers.

"Well, I was there. And I don't think they were the only reason he came by the house. He kept asking about you. He's worried about you. He misses you," Tandy says.

"Then why doesn't he tell me that himself?" Rayna asks.

"Maybe he is scared. Maybe he blames himself for what happened that night. I'm not sure, Rayna. I just know that the look on his face was a look of love whenever your name was mentioned the other night. Either call him yourself or give him time to come to you. Like I said earlier, it's going to happen eventually but you can go ahead and get it over with if you just give him a call," Tandy replies.

"Thanks for the advice, Tandy. I'll think about it," Rayna says.

"Okay, Rayna. I'll stop by the hospital tomorrow if I can get away from the important business matter that I'm dealing with right now," she tells her.

"Alright, bye."

Rayna stares at her phone. She contemplates calling Deacon but then decides that maybe a text message will be better.

"Thanks for the flowers. They're beautiful. See you soon?" she types.

She doesn't expect a reply. Deacon doesn't text much. One of the only times she has even sent him a text in the past 13 years was after their encounter in the elevator. Her mind drifts to the events of that night. The kiss had been so passionate. Rayna hears yelling in the hall that pulls her from her thoughts.

"Sir! Sir! You cannot go in there! Sir, like I said before, you have to wait until visiting hours start!"

"Who is causing such a racket in the hall?" Rayna wonders.

"That's my daughter in there. I don't care if visiting hours haven't started yet! I'm going to see her now," the voice of Lamar rings out through the closed door.

At that moment, the door bangs open and Lamar walks in calmly.

"Hey, Daddy. Were they giving you a hard time?" Rayna asks.

"Nothing that I couldn't handle," Lamar says smoothly.

Rayna laughs.

"So what's going on in the outside world? No one will tell me anything important," Rayna says.

"Your sister isn't talking to me. The girls are fine. I've kept Teddy in line while you've been in the hospital. Oh, and something else you might find interesting, Deacon came to see me," her father says as if he is merely discussing the weather.

"Deacon came to see you? Why would Deacon come to see you? He would never do that," Rayna chokes out in surprise.

"Well he did come to see me. I guess he knows that you and I have been doing better and he wanted to apologize. He asked me a few questions about Maddie and my role in the whole cover up. I didn't tell him anything about that except that he should talk to you if he had any questions. He also wants me to pull a few strings to make sure you get the best accommodations while you're stuck in the hospital," Lamar tells her.

"Wow, I would have never expected that," Rayna says.

"Look, Rayna, you know I've never liked the boy. I've always thought you could do better but I see how it turned out with Teddy. He obviously loves you though so I'll try not to get in your way too much," Lamar says.

Coming from her father, that means a lot. Rayna's stay in the hospital has only helped them to heal the wounds of the past even more than they already had when her dad was in the hospital.

"Thanks, Daddy. I'm glad you came by," Rayna answers.

"I'll be back soon. I have a few things to straighten out at the office. If you need anything then give me a call and I'll handle it," Lamar says as he walks out of the room.

Rayna feels better than she has in weeks. Everyone is being so supportive… except Deacon. Just like that, Rayna's good mood flies out the window.

"It's funny how thoughts of Deacon influence me so much," Rayna thinks.

Her phone buzzes. It's a message from Deacon.

"Glad you like them," she reads.

"Well, at least he replied," she thinks.

Her phone buzzes again. This time it's from Maddie.

"No one is here to pick me up from school. What should I do?"

In an instant, her thoughts leave Deacon as she flies into worried mother mode. A second later they return to him.

"Looks like I need to call him after all," she thinks.

She dials his number and listens to the phone ring a few times before his gruff voice sounds on the other side of the line.

"Hello. Ray? What's up?" he asks with curiosity.

She has missed hearing his voice.

"Hey, Deacon. I'm sorry to bother you. I was hoping you could do me a huge favor if you aren't too busy. Apparently, Teddy didn't make arrangements to pick Maddie up from school. She just sent me a message that said no one was there to get her. Do you think you can go pick her up? If not, it's ok but I'd really appreciate it. I know…"

"Ray…"

Deacon stops her before she finishes her last sentence.

"Ray, it's no big deal. Of course, I can pick her up," he responds.

"Oh, Deacon. Thank you so much. I owe you big time," she says.

"You don't owe me anything. She's my daughter too, remember?" he asks with a hint of bitterness in his voice.

"Of course she is, Deacon. You're still the best. Thank you," she says in reply.

"You're welcome, Ray. I hope you're feeling better. I'll talk to you later," he says.

"Thanks, Deacon. Talk to you soon," she says as she hangs up the phone.

"That wasn't so bad," she thinks.

Rayna looks back at her phone and dials Maddie's number.

"Hello?" Maddie says into the phone.

"Hey, sweetie. Are you alright?" Rayna asks.

"Yeah, Mom. I'm fine. Is someone coming to get me?"

"I called Deacon. He said he'd be there to get you as soon as he can so he should be there in about 10 or 15 minutes. Is that alright, honey?" Rayna questions.

"That's great, Mom! Do you think I can convince him to stop by the hospital?"

"I don't know, sweetheart. He is under strict orders to get you at school and bring you straight home safely. He might not make any exceptions," Rayna replies in a seemingly joking manner, but the look of longing on her face tells a different story.

"Okay, then I'll call you later. Thanks for the help, Mom."

"My pleasure, honey. Be safe and make sure you thank Deacon for giving you a ride," Rayna says.

"Okay, bye."

About 30 minutes later Rayna's phone buzzes again. The message is from Deacon.

"Maddie is home safe. She wanted to stop by to see you but I'm just not ready yet."

"At least he's talking to me," Rayna thinks as she reads the text.

She closes her eyes, hoping that he will be ready to see her soon.


	3. Chapter 3

Rayna wakes up to the sound of her cell phone vibrating. Her heart stops. It's a text message from Deacon.

"What room did you move to?"

It is a simple question but it sends a thousand questions flying through Rayna's mind. Is he here? Why is he here? How can he be here if visiting hours are over? After a few minutes of similar thoughts, Rayna realizes that she needs to respond.

"Room 202. Why?" she sends.

The response from Deacon comes quickly.

"Be there in 5."

Rayna's heart begins to beat wildly.

"Am I dreaming?" she asks herself quietly.

She barely finishes the thought as Deacon bursts through the door to her room.

"What are you doing here? It's three in the morning. How did you get in?" Rayna questions.

He doesn't answer.

"Deacon?"

No response.

"Deacon?! What is going on?" she asks.

The whole scene reminds her of the elevator. Her mind drifts to thoughts of the kiss that they had shared. A smile creeps on her face. She begins to blush when she realizes that Deacon is just standing there staring at her. He begins to walk toward the bed as if he has just awoken from a trance. He leans down and kisses her forehead before pulling a chair over to the side of her bed and sitting down.

"Hey, Ray. You feelin' better?" he asks.

"Yeah, I'm starting to feel like my old self again. It won't be long before they let me out of here," she answers.

He looks into her eyes as if he is trying to read her mind.

"You haven't answered my question," she tells him.

"I'm here to see you, Ray. What else would I be here for?"

"I don't know. I didn't think you would want to see me," she confesses.

"Especially after you told me earlier today that you weren't ready to come by," she adds.

"I wanted to stop by sooner but I've had a lot of thinking to do," he answers honestly. "I didn't think I was ready. Hell, I'm still not sure if I'm ready."

"What've you been thinking about?" she asks.

"You… damn it, it's always you, Ray. Even after everything it's still you," he says.

"I haven't forgiven you. We have a lot to work through and a lot of talking to do. I've just never been able to fight this thing between us and that still hasn't changed. We've both made a lot of mistakes. We have both hurt each other. But I waited so long to be with you and I'm not going to be stupid and wait any longer just because I'm mad at you," he adds.

"Deacon, I'm so so so sorry. You have no idea how much I… how much I regret… everything," she says with tears in her eyes.

"Shh, Ray" he says as he leans in to wipe her tears away. "It's gonna be okay."

"I'm so glad you're here, Deacon. It's been hard without you," she confides.

"Will you come here and give me a kiss, please," she requests shyly.

He hesitates as he debates the idea internally. In the end, his desire overtakes his will power and he lets his emotions run free. He leans closer and touches his lips to hers. They remain like that for a long time, kissing each other passionately, both of them putting every emotion that they have felt in the past four weeks into the kiss. He pulls back a little bit but Rayna puts her hand on the back of his head and pulls him closer. She never wants to let him go. They have wasted so much time in the past and she doesn't want to waste another second. They pull back a little. Both of them are breathless.

"Ray, you are beautiful," Deacon gushes while he stares at her face.

"Only you could say that right now, Deacon. I'm in a hospital gown, I have no makeup on, and my face still has a few bruises on it. I look like a mess," she says.

"You could never look like a mess to me," he tells her romantically.

Their problem had never been about their passion or about the romance. Deacon had always said the right things. They had always been able to express their emotions freely both verbally and physically.

"You know what I think? I think you're biased," she says with a slight laugh.

"Whatever you say, Ray."

They sit in silence for a few moments, both of them taking in what has passed between them. Rayna breaks the silence.

"Tell me what you're thinking," she says.

"A lot of things, Ray. My mind hasn't stopped moving since that night," he tells her.

"Have you… have you, you know, fixed things?" she asks cautiously.

She doesn't want to upset him but she has been worried about how he has been coping with everything.

"I haven't drank a drop of alcohol if that's what you're getting at. I've been completely clean. I would have never been able to live with myself if you had died. I kept having flashbacks to what happened with Vince except it would have hurt a lot more if… well, if something had happened to you. You know how much you mean to me, Ray," he confesses.

"Oh, Deacon," she says compassionately.

Rayna reaches up and puts her hand on his cheek, enjoying the feel of his unshaven face beneath her fingertips. She looks into his eyes, trying to convey the love she has for him in her heart wordlessly.

"Deacon, I don't want you to blame yourself. I was the one behind the wheel. I should have paid more attention. It wasn't your fault," she tells him.

"Of course it was my fault, Ray. The only reason you weren't paying attention is because I was being unreasonable. I messed up big time. I'm just glad you're okay," he replies.

"We both messed up, Deacon, but it's in the past. Let's just try to enjoy this visit and then we can deal with this whole mess when we have some more time to talk," she answers.

Deacon seems to contemplate her suggestion. After a few moments of sitting together quietly, a look of anger crosses his face.

"What's wrong, Deacon?" Rayna questions.

"I'm just hurt, Rayna. How could you have kept that secret from me for so long? You say you love me but you don't show any regard for my feelings at all. It hurts a lot," he answers.

"I'm sorry, Deacon. I would change everything if I had it in my power. I never would have married Teddy at all. I never would have let any of this happen if I knew that you would get sober after the 5th time in rehab. You know that I have always loved you. You know that… you know that that's never not been true," she chokes out.

"Damn it, Rayna. I'm not sure what to think. I'm not sure how to feel," he says.

"I'm sorry, Ray, but I've got to go. I need to think about this some more," he adds.

He wants to wipe the tears from her eyes and kiss her passionately but his anger stops him.

"I'm sorry, Deacon. I wish you would stay. I need you," she says in an attempt to evoke his sympathy.

He just shakes his head.

"When will I see you again?" she asks.

"I'm not sure. I'll come by when I'm ready. Get well soon, Ray," he says as he turns around to leave the room.

When he reaches the door, he glances back at the woman who has held his heart for such a long time. She looks as beautiful as ever but it doesn't change what she has done. As Deacon exits the room, Rayna lets out a loud sob. She would give anything to have him back in her arms.


	4. Chapter 4

Three days have passed since Deacon's visit. Rayna is beginning to think that she may never see him again. Despite the seemingly positive strides that they had made during the visit, Rayna cannot push the memory of his abrupt departure from her mind. She feels like a thread, which might snap at any moment, is holding her heart together. The worst part is not knowing exactly what he is thinking or feeling. In her memory the visit is a blur of mixed signals that culminates in a foreboding way.

Bucky is her first visitor for the day. He stops by on his way from a meeting.

"How are you doin' today, Rayna?" he asks.

"I'm ready to get out of this bed and back on the stage," she replies honestly.

He laughs quietly at her response.

"Then you're in luck. We were thinking about scheduling a few local events for you before the tour starts back up. I'm here to find out if you think you'll feel up to doing that after you're released tomorrow," he states.

Her eyes light up at the suggestion.

"I'm already feeling up to it. I can't wait to be released tomorrow. They have just been keeping me here these last few days for observation purposes," she answers. "I've been going crazy. I need to get out of this room."

"Alright, well how do you feel about playing a short set at the Bluebird tomorrow night? It will be a small, intimate setting and we can cut the show short at any time if you start to feel like you need to rest or anything. Deacon has already agreed to join you on stage. If it's alright with you then the set will probably include a lot of the old songs that y'all wrote together," he tells her.

Rayna is hit with a wave of emotion. She will be playing with Deacon. It will be the first time that she gets to see him since the visit. They will be playing their old songs. Her heart flutters at the thought. She can't help but remember what singing those songs together in an intimate setting usually leads to.

"Deacon has agreed? How did you convince him to do that?" she asks.

"He actually contacted me," he tells her. "We've stayed in contact throughout your whole time in the hospital. When he heard about the possibility of these small shows at local venues, he called me and told me that he would like to perform with you."

Her confusion is evident. The emotions that she is feeling are written all over her face, betraying her feelings to Bucky.

"Look, Rayna, you know that I usually stay out of this thing between you and Deacon but it sounds like he really wants to perform with you. I don't know exactly what is going on with the two of you but just try to put it behind you while we get through these first couple weeks of shows," he tells her. "I think these little shows will be good for your career. Your fans will love them. Then when we go back on tour they will be even more hyped up for your return."

"Well tomorrow night sounds good then, Buck," she answers.

"That's great, Rayna. It looks like I need to go put a few finishing touches on our plans. I'll see you tomorrow night at the Bluebird," he says.

"See ya, Buck."

Rayna begins to feel nervous about tomorrow night. She wants to talk to Deacon about everything but she isn't sure that he is ready for her to approach him again so soon. Her desire to talk to him wins out. She reaches for her phone and dials his number. As soon as it rings once, Rayna hangs up the phone.

"I can't do it. What if he really doesn't want to talk to me?" she thinks.

A moment later a new thought crosses her mind.

"Screw it, he obviously doesn't care about space that much if he is going to be playing with me at the Bluebird tomorrow," she reasons.

She dials his number for the second time.

"Hey, Ray," Deacon says as he answers the phone. "Is everything okay?"

Rayna calms down a little after hearing the concern in his voice.

"Everything is fine. Bucky just stopped by to see me. He said that you're going to be performing with me tomorrow night," she tells him.

"Yep," he answers shortly.

"Well are you sure it's a good idea?" Rayna questions him.

"Listen, Ray, I'm just trying to help. I know that it would be hard to find someone else on such short notice," he says.

"I just thought you might not want to help me anymore… you know… after… um... everything," she admits.

"I'll be there, Ray. See you tomorrow night," he says.

She hears a click on the phone and knows that he has hung up.

"Well what exactly am I suppose to do with that?" she wonders to herself. "I guess I'll just have to wait until tomorrow night to find out."

A few hours later, Maddie stops by the hospital.

"Hey, Mom. I'm so excited that you're getting out tomorrow," she says.

"I am too, Maddie. How has your week been?" Rayna asks.

"It's been great. Did I tell you about what happened when Deacon drove me home from school?" Maddie asks.

"No, you never told me. You were going to tell me the last time we talked but you had to go finish up your homework so you never got to it," Rayna reminds her.

"Well he gave me a guitar lesson!" Maddie exclaims happily.

"He did? That's great. Did he hang out for a long time after y'all got home?" Rayna asks.

"No, he only stayed for about 20 minutes. He said that he had to go finish writing some song with Juliette," Maddie tells her.

"Okay, honey. Did y'all talk about anything else?" Rayna questions.

"Nothing important. We just spent a little bit of time together. He said that he'll come back and give me lessons any time I want him to and that I can call him if I ever need anything," she replies. "Anyway, Mom, I really only came by to visit for a few minutes. I'm supposed to be finishing a project with April. I'll see you tomorrow when you get out."

"Alright, sweetheart. Have a good day. I love you," Rayna says.

"I love you too, Mom. Bye."

The rest of the day goes by quickly. That night Rayna falls asleep early, dreaming of her approaching release from the hospital.


	5. Chapter 5

Today is the day that Rayna Jaymes is finally being released from the hospital. Tandy is going to be at the front door in ten minutes to pick her up. She has been cleared for all of her usual activities. Bucky called her this morning to confirm their plans for the next few weeks. The conversation had been brief but informative. He reiterated many of the points that he had made during his visit the day before. Rayna is going to start by playing small shows at the Bluebird and other local venues for about two weeks until her tour with Juliette resumes. For some strange reason that Rayna cannot figure out, Deacon has agreed to be her guitar player at these local events. Rayna's heart races at the thought of the intimate settings, the familiar lyrics, and the usual sexual tension. Smaller shows with Deacon have always been something special. They seem to evoke every hidden feeling that lingers between them.

Waiting for her sister, Rayna begins to worry about all of these things even more. Bucky wants to hit the ground running, now that Rayna has recovered, so the first show is scheduled for tonight. The set list includes all of the old songs that are filled with so much emotion.

"Tonight is going to be rough," she thinks.

Out of nowhere, Rayna sees Deacon pull up to the front door of the hospital. He is driving a new truck since his car didn't survive the wreck.

"What is he doing here?" she wonders.

He gets out of the truck and walks towards her.

"You ready?" he asks.

"What do you mean? I thought Tandy was picking me up," she says.

"I called her and asked if I could pick you up. I thought it would be a good idea to talk a little bit before the show tonight if you're up for it," Deacon says.

"I'm up for it. Where do you have in mind for this talk?" she asks.

"I was thinkin' we could just talk at my house," he tells her.

"I'm not sure that's a good idea. You know exactly what will happen if we go to your house to talk," she answers.

He does know what will happen. They can never keep their hands off of each other.

"You're right. How bout we go down to the park and take a little walk? I can take you home if you get tired or anything," he says.

"That sounds like a good plan," she answers.

He grabs her bag and leads her to the passenger side of his truck. He opens the door and helps her up into the seat. His hand lingers for a moment longer than necessary on her hip. She blushes at him and smiles.

"Thank you for the help, Deacon," she says gratefully.

"It's my pleasure. You know that I'm here for you no matter what," he responds.

Deacon gets into the truck and starts to drive. Rayna smiles in surprise at the CD that he is playing. It is an old CD of some of the songs that they had written together.

"Nice choice of music, Deacon," she laughs.

"I didn't have anything else and the radio in this truck hasn't been working right," he lies.

"Sure, Deacon. Whatever you say," she says.

"Don't tell me that you never listen to it when you miss me," he says.

"You miss me, huh?" she asks playfully.

"Damn, Ray. Don't let it go to your head," he responds quickly in an attempt to get her to drop the subject.

"Oh, I won't. It's just nice to know that you still care," she says as she reaches out to touch his hand.

He wraps his fingers around her hand and glances at her briefly.

"I thought you already knew that," he says.

"Well, I guess it's nice to know just how much you still care. I know what those songs mean to us. It's different than just saying it. It's feeling it. It's knowing that, despite everything we've been through, we're still sitting right here next to each other," she answers.

As soon as they pull up to the park, Deacon walks over to Rayna's side and helps her out of the truck. He leads her to a bench that is under a big, shady tree. It is the perfect location for a talk. They sit quietly for a few moments, enjoying each other's presence. The sky is bright blue and there is a light breeze blowing. It is a truly beautiful day for a conversation in the park.

"What did you want to talk about?" Rayna asks.

"Well, since we're performing tonight, I wanted to clear the air a bit first. I know how emotional it will be tonight. I don't want it to be painful for either of us because of everything that's going on. We'll be singing those love songs, looking into each other's eyes, and remembering everything that goes along with that. It's always intense and I want it to be a good memory not a bad one," he tells her.

"Deacon, in order for it to be a good memory for me, all I need to know is that you still love me and that we're going to work this thing out," Rayna says.

He looks straight into her eyes, grabbing her hand as he opens his mouth to speak.

"Ray, I still love you more than anything and I will do my best to fix this thing between us," he assures her.

"What do you need from me, Deacon?" she asks.

Part of her dreads his answer but the other part is eager to do whatever it takes to get them back on track. Rayna tells herself that, even if his answer is painful, it will be worth it in the long run. She takes a deep breath to calm her nerves, waiting for his response.

"I need you to promise me something. I already know you love me. I need to know that you will never lie to me again. If we are going to be together then we have to be completely honest with each other. We need a firm foundation of trust and that is going to take a while to build but knowing that you are going to be truthful would be a good start," he says.

Rayna smiles. After seeing the consequences of lying to him for 13 years, she already knows that she will never lie to him again.

"You're right, Deacon. I do love you. I love you so much. And I agree with you. We need to be honest. I promise that I will never lie to you again," she says firmly.

He smiles and gives her a light kiss on the forehead. Their conversation is going well. Deacon's mind drifts to the work that they still have to do in order to keep their relationship on the right path.

"It's going to take a while for me to completely trust you again but this really does help a lot," Deacon responds.

"I'm glad. Just tell me whatever you need from me and I'll do it," she says.

Her certainty and loyalty impresses him. Deacon knows it's stupid but he has always blamed her for abandoning him. She never really left him but she had still married Teddy and moved on with her life. In this moment, her willingness to do whatever it takes to stay with him allows him to let go of some of his old doubts and fears.

"Okay, Ray. I will. Let's get you home. I think we have enough of this sorted out for tonight to be alright," he says.

They walk back to the truck together, hand in hand.

Maddie and Daphne are waiting outside for them when they arrive at Rayna's house. They both run to their mother as soon as Deacon helps her out of the car.

"Be careful hugging her. She is still kind of sore from some of her more serious injuries," Deacon warns them as they approach.

The girls reach out and hug their mother gently. She smiles and hugs them back happily.

"I'm so glad you're home, Mommy. I missed you so much and no one would ever take me to the hospital," Daphne says quickly.

"I've missed you both. I'm glad to be home," she tells them.

"I've missed you too, Mom. I'm happy that you're feeling better," Maddie says.

"Oh, I'm feeling great. Deacon, here, made sure of that," she says.

Deacon smiles at Rayna.

"It was nothing, Ray. I was just helping out," he tells her.

Maddie walks over to him and gives him a tight hug. His surprise at the affection is written all over his face.

"Thanks for being there for my mom," she tells him softly.

"I'll always be there for her and I'll always be there for you," he says in a meaningful tone.

Rayna smiles at the interaction between Deacon and their daughter.

"Is Deacon staying for lunch?" Maddie asks clearly hoping that he will.

"Oh, Maddie. I'm sure Deacon has a lot of stuff to get done before the show tonight," Rayna responds.

"Actually, Ray, if it's alright with you, I'd love to stay for lunch and hang out for a while before the show," he says.

When they enter the house, Rayna begins to move around the kitchen to prepare lunch. Deacon looks at her in concern.

"You need any help, Ray?" he asks.

"I've got it, Deacon. Why don't you go sit over there with the girls and spend some time with them while I put lunch together," she suggests.

"Only if you're sure. I don't want you to overdue it. You just got out of the hospital and we still have to go to the Bluebird to perform tonight," he tells her.

"I'm sure, Deacon. Go enjoy yourself. I'll be over there in a few minutes," she says.

He gives her a soft kiss before walking over to join the girls. Maddie already has her guitar out and is playing one of Juliette's songs. She stops playing as he approaches.

"You're doing great, Maddie. Don't stop," he tells her encouragingly.

She continues on with the song. Deacon gives her a few pointers when she is finished. A moment later, Rayna walks over to join them, carrying a plate full of sandwiches.

"Dig in, y'all," she says.

They all grab the sandwiches and start eating like they haven't eaten in weeks. Rayna sits down on the couch next to Deacon.

"These are great, Ray. Thank you," Deacon says as he reaches out to squeeze her hand.

She smiles at the gesture.

"Yeah, thanks Mom," the girls say in unison.

"It's my pleasure, y'all," she says.

Maddie passes the guitar to Deacon.

"Why don't you play something now? Maybe one of your old songs and then Mom can sing," Maddie suggests.

Daphne nods her head enthusiastically at the suggestion.

"Only if your mom wants to," Deacon tells them.

"Sure, y'all. Which one do you wanna hear?" she asks.

"How bout 'More Than Ordinary'?" Maddie suggests.

Rayna glances at Deacon. They both remember what the inspiration for that song had been. Rayna can only think one thing as she nods her head at the suggestion, "Thank God that the girls can't read our minds right now."

Rayna sings softly as Deacon plays. Their eyes meet and the electricity flows between them.

When they finish, Rayna excuses herself saying that she is going to get drinks for the group. The truth is that it's hard to face Deacon in moments like this unless they are alone. Jumping him on the couch in front of the girls would not have been the adult thing to do. Instead, she walks away to collect herself. She hears footsteps behind her. She feels Deacon's arms wrap around her waist from behind.

"Trying to escape?" he whispers in her ear.

She laughs. The feel of his breath on her neck is not helping her to calm down.

"I just needed some air for a second," she explains.

He looks at her knowingly.

"You think the girls will notice if we are gone for an hour or two?" Deacon asks playfully.

"Deacon! You know we can't," she answers.

"Just because I know we can't doesn't mean that I don't want to. In fact, I think it makes me want you even more," he tells her.

"Well if you behave yourself then maybe we can find some time tonight," she says.

"Rayna Jaymes telling me to behave myself. I've heard everything. If I remember correctly, you're the one who started the activities that led to us writing that song in the first place," he says.

They both lose themselves in the memory for a moment.

"Do you know how much I want to jump you right now?" she asks him suddenly.

"Now, that's the Rayna I know," he answers with a grin on his face.

She turns around in his arms and kisses him passionately. She presses her lips to his firmly and traces his lips with her tongue, begging for entrance. Rayna lets out a soft moan when he opens his mouth for her. After a few minutes of making out like teenagers, the pair splits apart.

"Damn, Rayna. I'm not going to be able to control myself if you do that again," he tells her.

"We have to go back. The girls are going to wonder what's taking so long," she says.

"Don't forget the drinks," he reminds her as they exit the kitchen.

Rayna sets the drinks on the table and turns to face the girls. They are absorbed in singing another song together.

"Girls, I'm sorry to interrupt but Deacon and I are gonna go upstairs to talk a few last minute things over before the show. We'll be down in a little while," she says.

The girls nod and continue singing. Rayna grabs Deacon's hand and leads him up the stairs.

"Couldn't resist me, Ray?" he teases.

"You know you're glad that I did that," she answers.

"You're damn right I am, Ray," he tells her.

When they reach her room, Deacon pulls her body as close to his as possible. For the first time in more than four weeks, the couple eagerly gets lost in their passion for each other.


	6. Chapter 6

When Rayna and Deacon arrive at the Bluebird they are immediately surrounded by paparazzi.

"Miss Jaymes, when did you get out of the hospital?"

"Miss Jaymes! Is it true that you were drinking the night of the wreck?"

"Miss Jaymes, Mr. Claybourne turn around and give us a smile!"

"Miss Jaymes, are you and Mr. Claybourne seeing each other again?"

"Miss Jaymes! Who is better in bed? Mr. Mayor or Deacon Claybourne?"

Deacon skillfully leads her through the crowd, his hand remaining steadily on her lower back. They glance at each other one last time before entering the Bluebird. When they enter, the crowd erupts in applause. Bucky approaches her first.

"I'm glad to see you out and about Rayna. Are you ready for this?" he asks.

"As ready as I'll ever be, Buck."

"Good. If at anytime throughout the set you start to feel like you need some rest then just signal over to me and we can shut it down for the night. This is more of a trial run than anything else," Bucky tells her.

"Thanks, Bucky. I appreciate all that you do for me," she says.

"You know I'm here to help," he responds before leading her to the stage.

Deacon walks closely behind her. He keeps his eyes focused on her. When they reach the stage he offers her his hand and helps her up the steps. She gives him a meaningful look of appreciation. When they take their places, Rayna faces the crowd. The Bluebird is packed tonight.

"How're y'all doin tonight?!" Rayna calls out to the crowd.

They scream enthusiastically in response.

She sits on her stool, adjusts her microphone, and looks at Deacon. Her mind flashes to the many other times that they have done this. The look on his face shows that he is remembering too. They share a knowing smile.

"We're going to be playing a lot of our old stuff tonight," she tells the crowd. "We'll even take a few requests towards the end if anyone wants to hear anything in particular."

She glances at Deacon as he begins the first song. As she sings, she feels herself getting swept away by the lyrics and the memories. The first half of the night goes by quickly. The usual longing glances and tension between her and Deacon are even more apparent than normal. The crowd eats it up. After they play quite a few songs, Rayna tells the crowd that they are going to take a short break before finishing their set.

Rayna and Deacon walk over to the corner of the room together.

"How are you feelin?" he asks as soon as they reach their destination.

"I'm feelin great, Deacon. It feels great to be out there doing what I love again," she tells him.

He pulls her close to him, not wanting any distance to separate them.

"Good, I'm glad that you're okay," he replies.

He gives her a light kiss. Her lips are so soft beneath his and the soft moan that escapes her throat when their lips meet only increases his desire for her. He reminds himself that they are in public and doesn't allow himself to get caught up in the moment. It is so easy for him to sink into her and forget his surroundings but he knows that this is not the time or the place to lose himself.

"What do you think of the show so far?" she asks after they break apart.

"I think it's going well. Being on stage with you hasn't felt this good in a long time," he admits.

"What do you mean?" she questions.

"I think I just feel more secure now that we seem to be heading in the right direction. It feels good to express my feelings on stage without having to worry about what the consequences will be. It just feels good being out there with you," he says.

"As good as this afternoon felt?" she teases.

"Better," he retorts playfully.

Rayna slaps him lightly on the shoulder.

"Deacon! Sometimes you are ridiculous," she laughs.

Deacon's smile fades as he glances toward the door. Rayna's head turns to follow his gaze and she understands exactly why he is frowning.

"What is he doing here?" Deacon asks venomously.

"I don't know. I didn't know he was coming. I've only even talked to him twice in the past four weeks," she tells him.

She begins to frown as Teddy spots her and walks towards them.

"Hey, Rayna," Teddy greets her.

"Teddy," she says shortly. "What are you doing here?"

"Nothing really. I just thought I'd make an appearance, catch the show, and make sure you're feeling alright now that you're out of the hospital," he says.

"She's feeling fine," Deacon replies roughly.

Deacon's jaw is tense. Rayna can tell that he is really annoyed by Teddy's presence. She grabs his hand to calm him down. Teddy notices the gesture and frowns at them.

"So even after everything that happened you two are still together?" Teddy asks.

"Yes, we're working things out," Rayna responds.

"I'm not going anywhere," Deacon adds.

"I wouldn't be so sure of that," Teddy says sarcastically.

"What is that suppose to mean?" Rayna asks angrily.

"Is that a threat?" Deacon interjects.

"Well, Rayna, you don't have the best track record. I was just expressing my doubts on how long this little relationship will actually last," Teddy replies.

"It's none of your business but we are going to be fine," Rayna says firmly.

"And we have a set to finish," she adds.

Without saying another word, Rayna pulls Deacon back toward the stage trying to get away from Teddy as quickly as possible. Deacon's jaw loosens but Rayna can tell that he is still irritated.

"Who does he think he is?" Deacon growls as they approach the stage.

"I don't know, baby. He's just trying to get under our skin. Don't worry about him. Let's finish this set and then enjoy the rest of our evening," she suggests.

"I'll try to enjoy myself but as long as he is here I'm not going to be happy," Deacon says.

Deacon takes a few deep breaths and tries to calm himself down.

"His presence doesn't mean anything," he thinks. "She chose me in the end."

The thought calms him momentarily.

"But she married him and slept in his bed for 13 years. She lied about my daughter with him," he thinks again, getting agitated quickly.

He tries to concentrate on the next part of their set but he knows that Rayna can tell something is wrong. She keeps sending worried glances his way and he knows that she can sense his anger and his feelings of resentment.

When they finally leave the stage, they force themselves to smile while engaging in small talk with Bucky. They can feel the tension brewing between them and this time it is not positive tension. They make their exit as quickly as possible and walk to the car together. As soon as they get in the car, Deacon explodes.

"Teddy has some nerve! Coming here and confronting us after the role he played in this whole mess! He even threatened me!" he yells.

"Deacon, I'm sorry. Please, calm down. I had no idea he was going to show up," she says soothingly.

"Calm down? I'm not going to calm down, Rayna! He was part of the reason that you lied to me for so long. And on top of that his presence only reminded me of the 13 years you spent in his bed," Deacon complains, lowering his voice a notch.

He knows that he is being silly but Teddy has always had the ability to get under Deacon's skin.

"Deacon, I know you are dealing with a lot right now but please try to be fair. Bringing up my marriage is not fair to me at all," she says as gently as possible.

Deacon stares out the window sulking.

"I'm sorry that you're feeling hurt right now but I'm not sure what has gotten into you tonight," Rayna says.

He doesn't want to fight with her. The night had been amazing until Teddy had shown up. He had felt like a new man. He had felt alive for the first time since the accident.

"I'm sorry, Ray. I let him get under my skin. I guess I just let him take advantage of my lingering feelings of resentment," he says apologetically.

As a peace offering, he reaches for her hand. Rayna is glad that he is making an effort to calm down. For Deacon, that is very a good sign. It is a sign that he is moving past their problems and working towards acceptance.

When Deacon and Rayna arrive at her house, they remain sitting in the car.

"Deacon, I'm sorry that Teddy showed up tonight. He's just jealous. He's always been jealous of you and of our relationship," Rayna starts.

"I know, Ray. This whole incident has just brought a lot of my fears to life. You know I've never coped well. Hell, you know it better than anyone. I'm an addict. I have demons that I have to fight on a daily basis and this has only made it worse," he says.

Deacon is right. If anyone knows about his demons, it's Rayna. She had seen it all. She had even stuck by his side during the worst period of his life.

"I'm sorry to take it out on you. You've been trying so hard to get me through this. Hell, you've been helping me get through everything since the day that we met," he adds remorsefully.

"It's okay, Deacon. I know it's going to take time. I have faith in us. I have faith in you," she tells him.

They sit in silence for a few moments, looking at each other intently.

"Tonight was nice," he says, breaking the silence.

Rayna laughs.

"Besides the whole thing with Teddy, I mean. It was nice to be back on stage with you at the Bluebird," he clarifies.

"It was nice for me too," she replies. "I've missed singing with you like that."

"Me too," he says.

She leans over and gives him a sweet kiss.

"Do you want to stay the night?" she asks.

"Not tonight, Ray. I told Coleman that I'd meet up with him after the show. He wants to make sure that I'm doing alright with everything," he responds.

Her face falls immediately but she understands.

"Don't worry, Ray. We're on the right track," he tells her truthfully. "I don't want to be stubborn anymore. I just want to forgive you and move forward with our relationship."

He is sure that they'll be able to work it out. Rayna has proven that she will fight for him. Now that they are both fighting for each other, he knows that nothing will be able to stop them.

"I love you, Deacon. I always have and I always will," she tells him.

"I love you too. I'll stop by tomorrow to spend some time with you and Maddie," he answers.

With that, Rayna exits the truck and stands on her driveway as she waves goodbye to Deacon with a smile on her face. She knows that he is still hers. She knows that they will make it. No matter what life throws at them, they will always have each other.


End file.
